an age old lesson

Has a situation ever come up in your life where you want to do something really badly, but you weren't allowed to?

Doesn't it just absolutely destroy your mental and emotional serenity?

Something has come up recently that's an age old lesson. I've learned this one time and again. I know exactly what the right mindset is, and I know all the correct reasoning and logic behind why the right action to take is the right action.

I know exactly what the right thing here is to do but man, I just don't want to do it.

I want so bad to do what I feel like doing right now, something that goes against everything I promised myself and everything that I've been promising myself. And the opportunity is so prime.

The circumstance is literally perfect. All the approaches are perfect. All the wheels are in place. The gears mesh, the circuit complete, all it needs is its light switch to be flicked.

And every bone in my body screams in a longing and unquenchable desire to act, and just act, not think but just act.

And every part of me that's Christ-like, and Jesus seeking (and I honestly believe that there isn't much of it) is trying to restrain me.

The indomitable, recurring, worldly-based sinful nature rears its malevolent face in war against the purity and sanctity of Christ's work in me.

This war, like any, can't be won on my own power. The only reason why I've sustained all these blows so far is because God is on my side.

So God, keep fighting for me. Don't let me confuse my feelings for Your will. Don't let me try to shape my life against Your will.

Don't let me build an existence on an unstable and rebellious decision.

Hold me tight.